{reflections}

I've been a mom now for a few days short of 5 weeks. It has been the most rewarding and exhausting 5 weeks of my life. I've slept so little, but loved so much that it's all been worth it.

Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done... and she's just a baby! It will only get harder.  (oh joy.)

As a person who is a bit controlling and ocd in nature, being so vulnerable to the needs of a baby has been hard. There has been times that I've cried in frustration because I didn't know what she needed. I didn't know how to calm her. I couldn't get my dang boobs to do what they needed to do for her.. It's been hard. and rewarding. and amazing.

She has good days... the days when she sleeps like a champ. And she has bad days, like today, where she has maybe slept for 3 hours since 7:00 this morning.

I am in awe of mothers everywhere because they are dang champs. I am grateful for the examples that I have in my life. I attribute the little sanity that I have left to those amazing women who have taught me so much, even if they didn't know they were doing it.

I'm excited for everything I'll be learning as she grows, luckily she is very forgiving of my learning curve.