A new perspective.

After doing some literature research I found a book that relates to infertility from a Latter Day Saint perspective. It's called Infertility: Help, Hope and Healing by Kerstin Daynes. I just started reading it so I don't have all the answers yet, but so far I like what I've read. To me, my inability to conceive a child this last year has not only blown my mind but has questioned my spirit as well. My faith surrounds families.  It emphasizes the importance of families, and that we need to multiply and replenishing the earth. So, naturally, when my replenishing wasn't happening I felt super let down. I felt that I wasn't trusted enough to care for one of Heavenly Father's children. And that hurt. So I'm glad I found this book, it's helping me understand this in the eternal perspective.

So far here's some of what I've read.

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  "One of the things we can do to make sense of infertility is to understand the Father's plan more completely. Heavenly Father loves us as His children and wants us to have all that He has and to be with Him eternally."
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  "A family can simply be a husband and a wife. In reality, a family begins with a husband and a wife."
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  Abraham 3:25 - "And we will prove them herewith to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them" The plan is about how we keep the commandments and what we do with the experiences our Father gives us."

Some people just have different deals. They've got different plans. The Lord knows the outcome of my story. I just have to continue to have faith, and keep the commandments knowing that the Lord will provide a way. He wants me to be a mom.

Having faith in God means having faith in His timing.

Doctors appointment tomorrow. I'm nervous/excited/terrified/anxious. I'll hopefully have at least some kind of answer tomorrow.