well sort of. it's usually pretty ugly. but i always feel better when it's over and done with. i feel calm, and comforted. and loved. and that's the beautiful part.
I'm surrounded. I can't escape it. I've got beautiful brand new babies all around me. (which I love only because they are my family and I just adore those sweet little babies) and I'm surrounded by pregnant people. It makes it a little overwhelming at times. But I'm managing. Usually.
I have the hormones of a pregnant woman, I swear I do. I cry most days. In the most pathetic sort of ways. and if the aide in my classroom reminds me one more time that I am in fact childless I might slap her.
I haven't ovulated in the past 2 months. So even my body is against me. Even on met.formin and fem.ara I've still got nothing. Looks like it will take a little bit more effort to get a bun in my oven. But we'll see. I'll find out more in April at my next doctors appointment. Do you think if we tell the producers at House Hunters that the reason why our budget is so low is so that are able to save up for IVF/Adoption if we have to- that they will throw in a treatment for us when we close on our house? That would be a wonderful house warming present. Every house needs a new baby to go with it, right?
So, I'm just in a rut my friends. I'm just tyring to be okay with what I've got but with the constant reminder of what I don't have in my face all the time it is just a little hard not to think about it. But man, do I sure love my new nephews and my sweet little cousin. I just wish I had a baby that could be apart of their little baby group. I just wish that I didn't feel like the only broken person in the room.
The House Hunters show DOES love a good nursery room reveal in the after section. So, maybe? I have heard that they cover some costs (closing?). I'm hoping all the best for you on your journey...
ReplyDelete((((hugs))) I know how you feel..I just want to be part of the baby group too. It's so hard when you are surrounded by babie and pregnant bellies. Feels like you are being left behind. I hope your specialist can shed some light and set you on the path of action. xx
ReplyDeleteI can't think of anything to say other than I'm sorry you have to go through this :(
ReplyDeleteI watched the Emma Smith story the other night and couldn't contain my tears when she kept losing children. The same feeling goes out to those who are desperately wanting to have children and for some reason are not able to bare.
Try & stay positive. I know countless stories of friends and family members having to wait anywhere from 2-9 years to conceive.
Even though this is easy to say, try & focus on you & Brian and enjoy your marriage. Try and think of it as when a baby comes it will never be just you two again, so cherish this time you have together:)
Loves!
I get it. I do. Nothing anyone says or does makes it any better or any easier and crying does help... for a little while but then it builds up again, you break down again, and the cycle starts all over. The only thing that will take the pain away is a baby. Its as simple as that and yet it is the hardest thing in the world. That's what I get and my heart just goes out to you because I do know how hard it is. Going on 3.5 years now and its gotten harder but you know what? When you do get your baby, you will savor that angel more than anyone else can possibly imagine. In the mean time, I am ALWAYS praying for you lovely.
ReplyDeletexoxo
I totally agree! Sometimes a heaving breakdown on the couch is cathartic. Enjoy it for what it is.
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